But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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