i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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