He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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