capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The power of my boobs compel you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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