yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am naked and annoyed.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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