Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Everclear isn't food dammit
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
