Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize