Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
