clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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