My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize