i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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