I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
