I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
