In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
