just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
