this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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