Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
