Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Randomize
