no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize