Nicole vs. Life
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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