i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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