oh god the rape fog is back!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
