Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
