I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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