i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
