It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
