I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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