i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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