i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
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dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
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She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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