we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
