There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
