I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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