i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
