Little spoons don't ask big questions
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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