better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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