I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again