I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
