STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
