operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I FOUND THE LEGS
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
