I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
