Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
