Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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