I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
