Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
