he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
