brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
