i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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