Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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