I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
