I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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