erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
