What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
