The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
