Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Jerry, you need to find god
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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