Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
