I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
