I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
