tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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