dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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